Tough Week

This has been a pretty tough week. Thankfully I have been pretty in control emotionally, so I'm not feeling depressed or hopeless; some of the stuff that has happened may actually be a blessing in disguise. This will be more of a journal entry post; not too much analysis or insight this time.

Work sucks. Absolutely sucks. A couple of months ago my awesome awesome boss retired and things got restructured. She was pretty much the glue holding everything together, and things have gone downhill fast. My new boss is controlling, paranoid, vindictive, and holds grudges. He hated my old boss, and now we are being punished simply for who we used to work for. And the director of the office supports him. Communication is no longer valued, building on people's strengths doesn't matter, backstabbing is encouraged, and the only way to get favor with the boss is to suck up. I'm used to working in an environment where I get my work done and let its quality speak for itself, and I'm respected for my knowledge and work ethic. I have NEVER had my commitment to my job questioned or been told that a monkey can do my job, but that is what happened this week. I don't want to get into specifics, because I'll just get more pissed off, but my boss is a bully and I'm done with that place. I'm looking for a new job, maybe with the state and maybe not. I'm not going to quit or do anything rash before I have something else lined up, but I've already applied for two other state jobs that look interesting and challenging. Or I might try to find something in the private sector that can help me reach my dream of getting my LCSW, and becoming a counselor for gay youth. We'll see....

On the moho front, I had the pleasure of getting rejected 3 times in one night. Woo hoo! It bruised my ego a bit but I didn't care too much. Unfortunately, I'm used to it. One stopped talking to me after I sent him a picture, the second no longer wanted to meet (yes, just MEET) after he found out that I wasn't compatible with his sexual inclinations (good riddance), and the third was a guy I had gone out with 3 times that told me he wasn't interested anymore and that we didn't click. Ugh. Hooray for me. I'm not a model by any means, I don't have the looks of a porn star, but I don't think I'm ugly either. I'm introverted and it can be hard to get to know me, but I have an awesome personality, at least I think so! I have no clue what it is about me that pushes people away, and I talked to a friend about it and he doesn't have an answer either. Today I got to spend some time with friend #3, and it felt a little awkward but it was also good. It was fun to catch up and hear what he's been up to. At the same time though, it reminded me of the good times and made me sad that we don't have that anymore. He's the kind of guy I want to spend the rest of my life with, and guys like that are few and far between :(

Positives of the week...got to meet and hang out with a friend that I've been texting and facebooking for awhile, but hadn't met in person. He and his boyfriend were awesome and I had alot of fun. And I'm super excited for a family FHE tomorrow with these friends. Hopefully this week will be better :)