So I went to tonight's moho party at Scott and Sarah's and stayed for about 15 minutes. I guess it's just not my scene anymore. I tried talking to a few people but kept getting the vibe of "if you're not a twinky BYU student we don't want to know you" and felt like I was wallpaper or something. The strange thing is, though, ..... wait for it ......that I didn't even care. Before, even like just a few months ago, this would have sent me into a tailspin and totally crushed my self esteem and I probably would have gone home and cried. Tonight though, it was more like "ummm this is a total waste of my time and I'd much rather go home and curl up on the couch and watch a movie." So that's what I did :)
It made me wonder, though....am I finally growing up and moving out of this damn adolescent period that I've been stuck in for years? Interesting....
I've met some really cool people at moho parties and found some good friends there. I think I'm going to be done with them for awhile, though. Nothing against Scott and Sarah, they are both very welcoming and loving, and two of the best people in the world. But the parties are just not for me anymore. If I ever get a free Wednesday, I think I'll give Simply Social a try.
GAYS NOT WELCOME
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I have been slowly working my way back. Spending time with missionaries.
Going to Church.
Really valuing what I had lost. I thought it was working. I thou...
9 years ago
3 comments:
I got the same vibe from Affirmation. But then, I'm a generation older, graying hair and overweight and it wasn't worth the 3 hour drive.
I'm currently on hiatus from MoHo parties too.
I like your idea of casting a wide net. I spent a good amount of time in the social circles-- Scott and Sarah's, The Escape, and Simply Socail. The more people you get to know and the more groups you're involved in, the closer you are to meeting people you'd want to spend more time with.
This makes me a little sad. I want nothing more than for people who come to the parties to feel welcome and comfortable.
I saw you at the party, a few minutes after you arrived, but then when I went to find you a short time later you had already left. I was disappointed that I didn't get a chance to say hi.
I understand that our parties can't be everything for everyone. Some people aren't interested in a "party" without alcohol, and we'll never have alcohol at the MoHo parties. Some people just aren't comfortable in large groups, and our parties get a little bit larger every month.
So I understand that people are going to stop coming when our parties stop giving them what they're looking for. But it still makes me a little sad.
All that said, I do agree with GMB. Diversification isn't just for stock investments. Simply Social is fun. The Gay Escape has some fun activities every once in a while. There's a "Spicy Dinner Group" that meets once a month (based on the one time I've been, it seems like it tends to draw an older crowd--30s and up). There's a "Utah Gay Fathers" group that meets regularly. If you sing there's the Salt Lake Men's Chorus. I've heard of gardening groups, and hiking groups.
Of course, it's hard to be the "new guy" in any of these groups. In my experience there are people in each who will make an effort to reach out and be welcoming, but it's still easy for a first-timer to get lost and feel alone. With a bit of effort and some repeat-attendance, though, you're sure to meet some good people and make some new friends.
[[HUG]]
Scott
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