Blogs Make Me Sad

Sometimes when I read other people's blogs I come away inspired by their strength and courage. I read blogs to know I'm not alone in my struggles, get to know people who are going through the same things I am, and (now) to keep up with people I've met in person. Lately, though, reading blogs just makes me sad. Maybe it's because I'm just going through a pessimistic week, or maybe it's because I'm all cared out, using my caring with real-life friends that are struggling. Maybe it's just because I'm such an empathetic person -- I feel what other people are feeling and want to help relieve their pain, but when I take on too much I can't deal with it. I hate seeing people struggle with being gay. I hate reading about mixed orientation marriages that are failing. I hate reading about people being rejected my family members. I hate reading about people's struggles to accept themselves, struggles with the church, struggles with maintaining their sanity. Sometimes (yes, I can be a horrible person) I even hate reading about people that are happy, wondering when will it be my turn. I hate thinking that people who read my blog get sad with my struggles. I hate that as mohos we have to struggle so much. I'm tired, and just want everyone to be happy. I realize that struggling helps us become stronger, eventually, but dang....

But I'll keep reading and writing. I love the moho friendships I've made, and I'll keep giving everything I have to help my friends that are struggling. I love meeting new people through their blogs and through real-live moho events such as Scott and Sarah's parties (they are literally a life saver). I think moho blogs, by their nature, are somewhat negative (I know mine is) and it's nice to meet people in person to get a more complete picture of them. Anyway, not sure what brought this on, but such is life.